Found this on the Internets. Why DID the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are there only white chickens here? We need some black chickens!

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road... What we need to do is help him realize how stu *id he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Did he cross it with a hare ? Did he cross it with a bear? Did he check if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not! ! Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told. Just one more thing I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very day. If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Have a 99CentOnly Christmas!

I was tickled when I saw that we shop at the same store! Those of you waiting for Christmas packages from us had better be prepared.

99Cent only Store--new in Corona

http://www.99only.com/

Back east we've had 99cent stores for at least 24 years. My parents would take our oldest children on shopping trips and give them each $1 to buy anything they wanted in the whole store. They loved it. Over Thanksgiving I was back in SC and my mother sent me to the brand-spanking new 99cent store about a mile away. It was in the new shopping center with the new gargantuan, still clean Walmart. So many dollars to spend, but no way to schlep them 3000 miles away in two carry on bags. I came home determined to find a store of my own. I knew that 8 years ago I had gone into a dollar store on 6th street across from the hospital, but I'd never gone back because it was filthy, sold only junk, and the carts had tall metal poles attached to prevent the customer from taking them out of the store. I drove by there today and the parking lot was full. Joy and I went inside, but I didn't take a buggy because I didn't expect it to equal the one back home. Within five minutes I went back to get a buggy. This place is fantastic! It's even better than Mom's! It has fresh bread and fresh produce and dairy and eggs. Amazing!

I spent $92. Which means that I bought at least, what?, 85 items?
I bought:
3 solid white ceramic reindeer
3 spun glass ornaments with lights
20 small gift bags with tags
1 pkg of 3 asian pears (they weren't very good, but I don't like pears)
1 large cabbage
3 cans of Luck's northern beans
3 cans of Luck's blackeyed peas
4 cans of Glory sweet potato casserole
4 cans of Glory black beans and rice
4 24 oz cans of California tomatoes
4 cans of italian style Del Monte tomatoes (.59 each)
8 pkgs of printed wrapping tissue
11 gallons of Crystal Geyser water
2 miniature roses
2 tiny pots of Christmas cactus
2 pkgs of boxes
4 pkgs of 3-4 handpainted glass ornaments

but my favorite item? Tissue box holders made of brocade with Chinese knots and double blessing symbols made in China, wrapped in authentic Chinese cellophane. Authentically tacky. Authentically Chinese.